Attempt Two: Day Eight

So apparently I'm not the bringer of the armageddon. I've not had a smoke and do not have a patch on and the world is still turning on it's axis. It is true that there in the imprint of a teenager's face on a train in Melbourne. In my defense, they shouldn't have called me Sir.

The hardest times not to smoke is after lunch. The after food smoke is one of the most delightful parts of my day. I used to look forwards to it rapturously. Now I grind my teeth, scowl at the computer and wonder if I could apply for justifiable homicide? It wouldn't be anyone important. Just a customer who has an overinflated sense of self-worth.

Sorry, I had a craving for a smoke and it hit just as the customer opened their mouth. The result was that my withdrawal applied an even sharper edge to my tone. I never knew that my tone could leave a papercut. Shame.

Nervous habits are also on the increase. The wringing of the hands. Random scratching of some parts of the body. Constantly looking to keep track of where everyone around me is. I don't think I've ever experienced this before. It's like a brief but accute sense of paranoia. As I have previously been advised, just because you're paranoid doesn't mean there isn't an invisible monster infront of you read to eat your face.

There really are no tips and tricks to help with this one. Just breathe through it. In and out, nice and calm.

There you go, quiet and relaxed.

Calm and tranquil.

What do you mean that you don't want to pay you're $1,500 bill because no one told you that we bill power and gas seperately? How about you go fu....

Attempt Two: Day Seven

I'm quite happy with myself... I have been without a smoke for an extended period now. I even went out with a smoker and while there was some passive smoking, I knocked back the one that I was offered.

Needless to say, normally no smoking and training to do not go well for me. Today was an exception to the rule. I am getting better at this no smoking thing. I have been pleasant (normally) and personable (occasionally) of late. I'm actually finding myself more tolerable to deal with than I used to be.

Tomorrow is going to be the test. I am going to go off the patches. This will end one of two ways.

1. They got it wrong. The apocalypse doesn't happen in October, it happens in April and starts in Melbourne, Australia.
2. I realise that I can do this and my will power to be smoke free is stronger than my cravings.

I've found another side effect of quitting smoking. I have more energy and am feeling fitter. That may also be the fact I now chase down people who have annoyed me to beat the intelligent. Let's be honest, I can't beat an smart person senseless. A smart person wouldn't piss me off given my quit smoking campaign.

I'm actually thinking that I should have asked for sponsorship to quit smoking. For every week that I go without a smoke, my sponsors donate an undecided amount of money to cancer research. That would have been smart to organise before deciding to quit.

Countdown until works end begins 7:00 am AEST tomorrow morning when I leave for work without my patch on. Lord have mercy on our souls.

Attempt Two: Day Six

Here we go... another week with giving away the smokes. My moods... well... let's not go there. After the weekend I may or may not need a new TV after being tempted to throw the xbox controller at it. Reports that I beat a man senseless as a result of saying "Good morning" are grossly incorrect. He was senseless before I touched him.

I never realised just how itchy nicotine patches can be. The desire to scratch it off if just phenomenal. For those who have chicken pox and remember how much that itched - this is more intense and in one centralised spot. I would start scratching at it but I worry that I may gouge a hole in the patch and shred the skin underneath.

On the upside, my acidic tongue has lessened. Now I can make people wilt at a glance. Not even the paint at work is immune. That's a good thing. The building really does have ugly colours overall.

The other surprise that I found is that not only has my energy increased but also so has my libido. I never knew that smoking affected the sex drive. I realised that it affected lung capacity and prolonged heavy breathing can be a bit detrimental in the bedroom but not that the actual drive itself dropped.

Another side effect is I have had an increase it acne. Yeah, gross side effect but it's another side effect that I wasn't aware would occur. These are the things they don't tell you about when you decide to quit smoking. This is easily solved by taking an extra 30 seconds in the morning rituals but using a facial scrub daily rather than 3 times a week and using a loofa in the shower.

Weekends are always going to be the challenge for me with smoking. I'm so used to walking outside and having a smoke, I need to find something else to do during those times. I've found that going downstairs and changing where the knives and forks sit in the cutlery draw just doesn't fill the void. Even with my housemate's OCD. This weekend I think I'll just change the order of the draws.